Up in the air I fly.....

We are home!!!

We had a lovely time away but it is good to be back into the routine of our daily lives

 (did I just say that?)

Travelling with two little ones by myself was  as eventful as I had predicted,

 but I did make some mental notes for next time.

1. Do not dress your children in white for travelling.  EVER.

2. Do not give children in white, M&M's on the plane unless you are going for the rainbow clown look on arrival.  Freddo frogs are just as bad, cheese and bacon balls, forget it.

3. M&M packets are hard to open whilst juggling an infant on your lap.  Contrary to popular belief,  air hostesses do not have permanent smiles on their face, especially whilst trying to dodge rolling M&M's with their food trolley.

4. Do not tell your child they can watch a movie on the plane until you definitely know that 

a) they have movies on the plane 

b)the movies will not be M rated

c) you have the ability to juggle an infant, whilst trying to get your credit card out of your purse and swipe it through a ridiculously small slot without elbowing your other child in the face.

5. Do not let your infant fall asleep on your lap with their head towards the aisle. You will either risk them being hit by that ridiculously large food trolley, a man posing as a giant as he goes to the toilet or attempting to move them closer towards you, without waking them up whilst trying to open the packet of M&M's....impossible. Face them the other way and risk being hit in the head with the arm rest as the other child continually raises it to try and put the head phone socket in.  If your infant can not sleep sitting up, with their massive metal seatbelt clasp in their back and the tray table centimetres from their face, 

perhaps don't expect them to sleep at all.

6. An adult and two children can not fit into an airplane toilet cubicle AND go to the toilet.  If you are willing to attempt it...

 place the infant in the wash basin, sitting up. 

Hold them with one hand.

 Lean against the door. HOLD the child going to the toilet with your legs.  

Use your spare hand to hold the child's shirt so it is not peed on. 

Be sure to lock the door before you scar the immaculately dressed air hostess for life.

If it is you who needs go to the toilet,

 forget it or invest in nappies for all three of you.

But we survived, we are home, 

with a few orange stained shirts and extra bruises but none the less, we made it!